Filled

     So this year I had four New Year's resolutions and I've already failed at three of them. The fourth is going okay though, for now. That one was to embrace new opportunities and try things I might not have tried before. Basically, I need to get out more. So today I fulfilled that by going to BOW (Breaking Open the Word) with a friend.
     For those of you who don't know (basically all of you), BOW is like a sort of Bible study where you go and listen to the gospel reading for the next weekend's mass, and you listen for a word that stands out to you (God speaking to you, if you will) and then you reflect on that word and how it fits into your life and how it can change your week in a concrete way.
     The reading for this week is this: The people were filled with expectation, and all were asking in their hearts whether John might be the Christ. John answered them all, saying, "I am baptizing you with water, but one mightier than I is coming. I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." After all the people had been baptized and Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came down from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." -Luke 3:15-16, 21-22
    Despite the request that we "cast off our worries and set this time aside for God" I was still panicking about the pile of homework I had to do, and I'll be the first to admit that I am awful at quietly listening and just letting God (or anyone else for that matter) speak to me. But after a while of trying my best not to force myself onto a word the word that came to me was "filled." And I was like, "filled"? What the heck does that even mean? I tried to come up with a logical explanation for my word but I just couldn't think of any reason God would look down at me and say "Filled." It didn't make sense.
     So I sat there for about 20 minutes while the others shared their words and the ways they felt God wanted those words to apply in their lives, and I tried my best to just let my mind relax. And suddenly there was a thought in my head. Empty. How have you felt the last couple days? Empty. How does it feel not to feel any emotions? Empty. What are your greatest fears in life? Darkness. Being alone. Emptiness. What's the opposite of empty?
     Filled.
     You can make whatever you want of that. I myself have had moments in which I was sure that in the back of my mind, I just found myself a word to answer the questions I was hiding. But whether you want to believe it was God, or just a fantastic trick of the mind, or complete balderdash, it's at the very least a pretty nifty coincidence. I haven't figured out yet exactly how I'm supposed to be "filled" this week but...I guess I'll fill you in on that bit later. For now, the lesson is that sometimes there's benefit to taking time out of our busy schedules to relax and just hear what's going on around us.
     God bless<3