UPDATE: Okay, I admit, I've had this written for a while, but I got the idea to publish it from here. My sincerest apologies for copying!
I generally try not to publish stuff like this, because I feel like it's not relatable and ramblings about why I love the people I love aren't something the general population wants to read. However, there are a lot of things I want to say to some people, and I want everyone to know how awesome you all are, so this is the best venue I can think of. For the most part I avoided calling people out by name in case you're embarrassed by this. So, I guess, sorry in advance for the longness and mushiness and general suckishness of this post. But I wrote it all out so I'm posting it now, for better or for worse.
To the survivors of the Taylor experiment: What can I even say, beyond thank God we made it out alive? All kidding aside, it was a wild ride. Twelve years long for some of us, and I cherish every second. Adam - To this day I can't look at a marigold without calling it Zaffaffania. And I'll bet you don't even know why at this point. I know we had our bad days, but thank you for (almost) always making me laugh. David - Boy do I miss getting to talk to you in Mrs. P's room once a week last year. I don't know if you knew it or not but you kept me sane most of the year. Super Siah - Gotta admit, I thought you hated me for a long time. But after I got over that I found out you're actually extremely awesome and I'm really glad I got a chance to get to know you. Michael - After all these years, I think I am finally comfortable admitting that in third grade, your baseball sand shelter was way more effective than mine and prettier too. You win. Morgan - I don't know why we didn't become friends earlier! I missed out dude. We definitely should've united before high school. Regardless, I'm glad I had one female ally in that group. We may have been outnumbered but we were still the most influential part of that group most of the time. I miss your seeing your beautiful face all the time and having lima beans shoved in my ears and being able to talk to you every day. Luckily we're the same person so I know we'll end up together again eventually and I know you'll always be there to talk if I need you. (And to Mariah and Liza, who sadly did not survive the Taylor experiment - I still feel blessed to have met and gotten to know you, if only for a little while. I hope you're both doing well, wherever you are. Probably a model and a concert pianist at this point.)
1: There are very few people to whom I can say, "I remember how we met," but I remember every detail of meeting you. It was kind of a weird way to meet a best friend (both in ways I knew then and ways I found out later) but I'm unendingly thankful that it happened. You have had my back through so many situations in which you had no obligation to do anything and you've saved me from a million things, from boredom to unnecessary anxiety to my very self. I think the thing I'll always remember is the day before graduation, just walking around Bellwood running errands and sitting on the playground reminiscing. I don't know if you knew how much I needed that time with a friend at the moment, but it meant the world to me. I feel like I've known you way longer than 2 years. Thank you so much for being an amazing friend even when I don't deserve it.
2: You stress out too much, kid. I know you feel a lot of pressure but the honest truth is you are under no obligation to be me. Yeah, I've been an overachiever my whole life. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Honestly the biggest thing I've learned from college so far is that there's way more to life than getting a great SAT score. Lots of people can do that. Very, very few people know who they are and what they want in life. I think you have a better grasp on who you are than most people I've encountered in my life. Relax. No matter what happens, you're going big places.
3: Some people assume you're the same as me. Some people think you're the polar opposite. Both sets of people make a huge mistake. You are a unique person who happens to have the unfortunate position of being the youngest sibling. But you're going to set the world on fire someday. You're smart, artistic, and personable, a triple threat, and unlike everyone else in our family you aren't going to have stress ulcers by the time you're 21. Don't sell yourself short. Sometimes I think you understand life better than any of us.
4: It's true to say you're my newest friend but it really doesn't feel like I've only known you a couple weeks. I gotta admit, my first impression of you was that we were polar opposites and I would never be able to talk to you. You were intentionally throwing yourself into the spotlight while I was trying desperately to hide in the shadows, and people ate it up. They loved you. I wish I could remember what I wrote for your mailbox, because I don't think I wrote what I was really thinking (that I was totally jealous of how comfortable you were in crowds). I didn't think I would ever be getting to know you. Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong because now you're one of my best friends. And you're bringing me out of my shell a little bit, which people say is a good thing. Thank you for always being there even when I'm being excessively needy and making me do things I don't want to do so I can learn that they are good. Thank you for making me feel included and comfortable. Thank you for always doing the stuff I tell you not to do. Your capacity to love is astonishing and will get you through anything life throws at you. Please never lose it.
5: I know for a fact you don't usually read this, so I don't expect you to ever see this. That's fine, I'm still gonna say it. I have literally known you for as long as I can remember. There have been better times and worse but I have to say that I think I knew how special you were all along. We've literally been through hell together and I'm incredibly glad we're here on the other side, still together and in one piece. If I could push a button to make you believe in yourself and be happy, I would push it in a heartbeat. But until such a button exists, you're just going to have to figure those things out for yourself. I believe you can do it. Know that you are wonderful and loved, and no matter how many times it gets bad I'll be here to pull you through, because the good times are worth it.
6: I did a stupid thing by saying we were probably never going to be friends again like we used to be. At the time I was frustrated and tired of missing something I didn't think I was ever going to get back. I regret that now, although I doubt it still matters to you. If you ever need anything, know that I'll always have your back. Love you Scottie<3
No comments:
Post a Comment